Building a God-Honoring Marriage


No one plans to become a broken family or a miserable couple. We marry
because we yearn for a life-long, thriving relationship. How can believers
become intentional about building a God-honoring marriage?

PRIORITY ONE – Discover God’s Design for Marriage
We must understand that every marriage is intended to be a masterpiece
reflecting THE marriage between God and His people. Marriage is the
most frequent metaphor used in the Bible to describe God’s relationship
with His people. In fact, writing to the Ephesians, Paul called marriage a
“profound mystery” because the man represents Christ, the groom, while
the woman represents His bride, the church. The marital union of husband
and wife is a sacred reflection of the gospel itself.

PRIORITY TWO: Commit to a Covenant Marriage
Today’s civil marriages are much like business contracts—easy to get into
and easy to get out of. God’s covenant with His people was a promise to
remain eternally faithful even if His people weren’t faithful in return. In
covenant marriage, both spouses are committed for a lifetime—in sickness
and health, for better or worse. They don’t threaten divorce or consider it
as an option.

PRIORITY THREE: Pursue a Passionate Marriage
Couples aren’t supposed to just stick it out and find a way to make their
marriages survive. God calls us to pursue a passionate, thriving marriage.
The Song of Solomon expresses the kind of love, joy and celebration God
designed for marriage. That passion is built on much more than infatuation
and sexual desire. It is rooted in the physical, emotional and spiritual
intimacy God created couples to experience as a foretaste of the eternal
unity, communion and intimacy we can have with God.

PRIORITY FOUR: Become Heroic in Marriage
Christ made the ultimate sacrifice to rescue humanity. Writing to the
Ephesians, Paul connected Christ’s sacrifice directly to marriage:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25) and “Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:24). In
other words, mutual submission to one another requires giving up our own
interests to heroically serve the other person.

PRIORITY FIVE: Fight for Your Marriage
Every couple will mess up. Too often, however, they also choose to give
up. Throughout scripture, God fights for His relationship with His
people, remaining faithful in the face of unfaithfulness. He forgives again
and again. No couple can avoid strife and arguments, but we can avoid
giving the “devil a foothold” in our marriages by keeping short accounts
and quickly restoring the relationship regardless of what happens.

GOING FURTHER - Resources

Recommended Books
It Starts At Home (by Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope) explains why
marriage is a key path of our spiritual formation and provides
practical advice for intentional couples.

The Marriage Masterpiece (by Al Janssen) unveils the beauty of
God’s design for every marriage.

Building Your Mate’s Self-Esteem (by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)
shows why one of the most vital ingredients in a marriage today is
to build one another’s self-esteem.

Love and Respect (by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs) discusses a powerful
biblical model for each spouse understanding and meeting the
other’s most deeply felt need.

The Five Love Languages (by Gary Chapman) describes how to
discover and serve your spouse’s unique love language.

A Celebration of Sex (by Dr. Douglas Rosenau) is a guide to
enjoying God’s gift of sexual intimacy.

Simply Romantic Nights Kit (from Family Life Ministries)
Discover intimacy in a new light using a series of his/her date night
ideas.
© 2008 Inkling Innovations Revised: 01-Jul-2015

Websites:
Listen to a free marriage podcast and discover tools for
becoming an intentional couple at HomePointe.org